#1: He who appeals only to the heart. This guy knows all the right things to say at the right time to sweep you off your feet. Make sure you’re ready to get up with poise and grace once you’ve fallen flat on your face after well, being swept off your feet and realize he’s the typical player. Get up and look for he who appeals to BOTH heart AND mind. He’s the real deal.
#2: He who is constantly broke (… at 40 most especially). Financially inept much? Yes. While money should be no object, being financially sound represents a plethora of things that are vital in a relationship. And it’s not what present should you expect for Christmas or valentine’s. I’m talking about one who shows good stewardship over his assets and knows how to prioritize his expenses (if he has assets to begin with). This trait easily translates to responsibility and accountability- a man who knows how to take care of his business. If your man can barely afford a pack of cigarettes (at 40 most especially), has a bad credit history, no savings account, and 401 k is a topic he cringes about, ditch him. How do you expect him to handle a relationship if he can barely take care of himself? Disclaimer: not to be misinterpreted as the tightwad.
#3: He who still lives with mommy (…at 40): enough said.
#4: The pathologic and habitual liar: Pathologic liars are those who have mastered the art and skill of telling women the “fabricated truth”. Practice makes perfect indeed, the more they do it, the better they become at it. Forget about flinching, sweaty palms and dwindling eye contact, you’ll never find these textbook clues in a pathologic liar. He can look you straight in the eye and confidently tell you his version of the truth why he was MIA for 36 hours or why he didn’t show up the other night or why he wasn’t answering his phone. When psychology fails you on how to catch Mr. Pants on Fire, rely on your intuition. Listen to what your gut tells you, it is 100% fool proof. The liar won’t admit to his fault, that’s a given in spite of what your gut dictates you. but once you get that “funny” feeling in your stomach, that is your cue to head out the door and bid him goodbye.
#5: I don’t know what to call this loser but: This guy has no shame in any way, shape or form. His sole intention is to get in the sheets with you and he disappears once he gets what he wants. He croons, “appeals to the heart” like guy to avoid #1,gets down to business and leaves quicker than you can say booty call. Don’t even expect a call or a text because quite frankly? He won’t. Forget about him and get over it. Just make sure you recognize it the next time he (and you know he will) attempts to make a “booty call” out of you. After all, who doesn’t want a guy who stays in bed just to cuddle and stares at you and tells you how beautiful you are despite your hair being all over the place and your sweaty underarms after sharing an intimate moment with him and then makes you breakfast the next morning?
#6: He’s a 20-year old in the body of a 40-year old: Translation- He is 40 years old but acts like he is still 20. This guy parties too much for his age. He is completely and utterly oblivious of his adult responsibilities (e.g. bills). He mindlessly squanders his paycheck to go out and buy half the bar a round of drinks. Well, there goes his paycheck, not down the drain but down the throats of 100 random men with alcohol dependence issues. His happy-go-lucky attitude is very refreshing but it can only go so far. A good guy has a well sense of balance in life. He knows how to have fun without it interfering with his responsibilities and frame of mind. So, say goodbye to your 40-year old social butterfly and look for a man who thinks life is still worth living even without beer.
#7: He who doesn’t know what to give you but wants to do something special for you, so he buys you a sex toy: Need I elaborate? A guy’s gift represents what he thinks of a woman. If a guy buys you a sex toy for his (first ever) gift, you mean nothing to him but instant and momentary gratification. If your guy gives you anything that’s short of what you’re worth, don’t just toss the gift, toss the guy, too.